Walking around a mall this past weekend, my wife and I saw what looked like a life-sized Ken doll. Aside from the slightly largish head/hair to body ratio, we couldn’t stop looking at his chest.

This we decided, was intentional.

His polo shirt was a size or three small. Additionally, it seemed like the portion beneath his pectoral muscles was taped up to keep the definition up, so to speak.

I immediately thought he looked like John Basedow, the bobble-headed fitness guru that appears in infomercials touting his Fitness Made Simple plan.

Then I realized, IT WAS JOHN BASEDOW. One of the rolling advertisement kiosks confirmed it for me. Holy crap! Blankish, vacant stare, 90′s hair, everything!

He was with a shorter brunette, who had a similar sheen of sell. I recognized her face on the FMS website–it turns out she is none other than Fran Capo. The world’s fastest talker. Hanging out with JB. At the mall.